Here's a collection of MLM and gay flags made by the community.
UPDATE: Carrd has a new owner! If you want to suggest a flag or anything else you can dm me on Insta (@otkschooled)
Original creator: @lumiexalt
Here are a list of MLM terms, particularly those that are lesser known.
gay - used to describe men/nb who are exclusively attracted to men/nb; can also be used as a general umbrella term for LGBT+
cinthean - a specific term for gay men/nb.
SGA - same gender attraction
MGA - multiple gender attraction
MLM - men loving men
NBLM - nonbinary loving men; also written as NLM (alternatively MLNB - men-loving nonbinary)
(these can be used to refer to anyone who is a man and/or nonbinary, and has an attraction to men and/or nonbinary people; or aligns themselves with that experience and community.)
achillean - anyone who falls under the MLM/NBLM label
"isn't achillean a problematic term?" No, read here for more.
due to discourse surrounding achillean, other terms and flags have arisen as synonymous alternatives that MLM/NBLM can use if they would like. This includes:
regarding "blue rose" and "ametrine," the terms are used to describe the flag. I am unsure if they are a labels in and of themselves, but can be used as a label if one wants to.
neon/gray/accent gay - neon and gray gays are terms invented to offer an alternative for mlm identity rather than "twink" and" bear" & "top" and "bottom."
+ neon gay: "neons are mlm who express themselves more through color and presentation. they prefer to not mute their presentation of themselves in public...it's an identity centered around the color of their personality."
+ gray/grey gay: "gray/grey are mlm are more reserved in their public presentation. they usually reserve their affection to spaces they are comfortable with...it's an identity centered around the relaxed energy or reservation of their personality."
+ accent gay: an in-between of neon and gray
Here is a list of the site updates.
11 June 2021 - site management transferred
2 June 2021 - site management being transferred, deleted some flags
20 May 2021 - minor edits. Official statement to the home page that the site manager is no longer actively managing the site.
2 October 2020 - added MLM/NBLM acespec flag
18 September 2020 - added @incelfucker's MLM flag (Twitter,) @DlNNERB0NE's MLM flag (Twitter,) non-binary gay flag (source unknown,) @fnaftwt's MLM flag (Twitter,) edited the blue/green gay flag description
11 September 2020 - added @dudevinci's MLM flag (Twitter,) @ak1dess's trans gay flag (Twitter,) and @B00MTOWN's MLM flag (Twitter); added "neon/gray/accent gay" to the MLM terms section; added a few site tweaks
5 September 2020 - added @froggybenny's (Twitter) gay flag and blue mlm flag
2 August 2020 - added asterian, and cinnammoroll's (Twitter) gay flag; added "mlm terms" section
19 Jul 2020 - added jensensbrina's (Twitter) MLM witchcraft flag, added quarentapes' (Twitter) achillean nb flag, updated cinthean flag section with a Twitter link alongside a Tumblr link
18 Jul 2020 - added o-hemprichii's (Tumblr)/monstericfag's (Twitter) cinthean flag, added "site updates" page, changed navigation buttons to include "site updates" and "a message from me," added hover color to navigation panel
17 Jul 2020 - added rainbow flag, blue/green flag, and achillean flag; renamed "why these flags?" section to "questions;" updated "questions"
17 Jul 2020 - site went live
It is wonderful that we, as a community, are making steps forwards for ourselves to express our unique experiences with attraction, gender, identity, solidarity, and the like. We must stand together and become a better, stronger community -- to work towards inclusivity and acceptance. Each and every one of us deserves to be represented and seen. We will continue to fight against invisibility, misconceptions, and bigotry, and stand in solidarity with one another. We must advocate for civil, healthy discussion and not hostility -- validation and understanding rather than negativity. We will not let those who are not a part of our community speak over us and dictate what is right and what is wrong for us. We must be open-minded, passionate, empathetic, and accepting towards our fellow MLM/NBLM. We will listen, and we will be heard.
We are living in a new era, our new present-day -- we must define our new history, for we are a part of that history that defines our era. Take pride in your identity and how it relates to our current day. What you feel, what you experience -- those are all valid and you have every right to express those feelings. Be it through art, music, writing, or even flags, your right to self-expression -- your right to express your unique experience that you may not see reflected in the past -- is something that cannot be taken away, and is something that will define our era. Daring to live and express and be free is courageous. Be proud of yourself and who you are, and we will support you all the way!
We must create a safe space -- a loving, welcoming environment. Those who bear mal intent -- those who are intolerant, predatory, bigoted, exclusionary, unempathetic, or otherwise ill-spirited -- shall not be tolerated as we support each other, so we may see our expressions and identities be accepted and loved, and we may see growth within ourselves and within our community; like a flower in bloom.
For we are all unique and more diverse than the world knows, and we will not be silenced.
We will be heard.
These are flags exclusively for gay MLM and NBLM!
A quick disclaimer that any flags labelled MLM/NBLM without specificity as to whether it's for all MLM/NBLM or exclusively gay MLM/NBLM will be under the MLM flags section. These flags will be tagged as such!
Click on the flags for a larger view!
rainbow LGBT flag by Gilbert Baker
This flag is used by gay men as well as the entire community.
gay flag by gayflagblog -- the blog for the flag + variants, including Philadelphia Pride
Please note: there is discourse surrounding this flag -- especially regarding its similarity to the lesbian flag, and its origins as a hue shift. The creator of the flag has also consulted others about the flag to stay mindful of other communities, and has created variants as well. Even so the controversy remains and people have taken issue to it, so please be mindful of these factors when choosing a flag to represent yourself.
GNC, NB and Trans Men
A modified/alternative version of the above flag -- with the Pure Love and Fortitude stripes merged into one stripe instead.
gay flag by @elfofcolor -- original post
Joy and Romantic Love
Asexual and Aromantic Gay Men
Nonbinary, GNC, and Trans Men
gay flag by @xX_webcorez_Xx -- original post
Nonbinary, Trans, and GNC Gay Men
(the creator meant for the last stripe to say "attraction" rather than "romantic attraction")
gay flag by @reveledego -- original post
Healing and Self Love
Trans men/Nonbinary Inclusion, Love, and Acceptance
Soul and Passion
Peace and Harmony
gay flag by @cinnammoroll -- original post
Sense of belonging, trust, masculinity
Trans and non-binary men
Warmness, solidarity, pride
Passionate love, harmony, and femininity
gay flag by @froggybenny
Masculinity, femininity, and androgyny
Trans/Nonbinary and GNC men
trans gay flag by @ak1dess
Nature (aqua is a mix of green (nature) and blue to emphatize that being trans gay and mlm are natural)
Pure love + nonbinary trans gays
These are flags for any MLM and NBLM, encompassing those who are same-gender and multiple-gender attracted!
A quick disclaimer that any flags labelled MLM/NBLM without specificity as to whether it's for all MLM/NBLM or exclusively gay MLM/NBLM will be here. These flags will be tagged as such!
Click on the flags for a larger view!
achillean flag -- read more
disclaimer: I am aware of the discourse surrounding the term "achillean" itself, however I have chosen to include it to represent our community members who do use it. Please read this informational site for more regarding why achillean is still a valid term.
However, there are those who may not want to use achillean for themselves, and that is completely valid.
"The achillean flag has two blue stripes on the top and bottom representing men. In the center is a green carnation. In ancient Rome and 19th century England green indicated gay affiliations. Victorian men would often pin a green carnation on their lapel as popularized by author Oscar Wilde."
blue rose MLM flag by @CatColors -- original post
created as an alternative to achillean for those who may not want to use that term.
Bi and Pan Men
GNC and nonbinary MLM/NBLM
Ace and Aro MLM
All Pronoun, Neopronoun, and Xenogender MLM
MLM/achillean flag by @itstvraptor -- original post
Love and Sexuality
Gender Non Conformity
Trans and Nonbinary Men
Strength and Perserverance
ametrine MLM flag by @whitecobras -- original post
Love of Men and Male Aligned Nonbinary People
Neurodivergent and Gay People of Color
neopronouns MLM flag by @trenderkomaeda -- original post
(disclaimer: not sure if this is any MLM/NBLM or gay MLM/NBLM only)
Love For Men
Androgyny; alternatively, the Diversity of Identity
The Passion and Courage of Pursuing One's True Self
MLM/NBLM solidarity flag by @neoptelemus -- original post
Life and Love
Strength in Solidarity
MLM flag by @serahphymn -- original post
Masculinity + Pride
Bravery, Inner Beauty
Masculine Trans, Nonbinary, and GNC
Sexuality, Romance, and Ace/Aro (can be interpreted as diversity of attraction)
Femininity + Love
MLM flag by @introchild -- original post
Life and Sexuality
History, Hope, and Healing
Nature and Magic
Serenity and Harmony
All Men who love Men
MLM Witch Flag by @jensensbrina -- original post
Green Side - Witchcraft Aspect, The Earth, Nature, etc
Blue Side - Love for Men
asterian flag -- original post
created as another alternative to achillean regarding discourse around its namesake.
pan/bi/gay/ace identifying people
attraction to men
attraction to masc-aligned people
sexuality and love
any pronoun masc aligned people
blue MLM gradient flag by @froggybenny
Attraction to male/non aligned people
Respect amongst community
MLM flag by @dudevinci
Unique Relationships with Gender
MLM flag by @B00MTOWN
(disclaimer: not sure if this is any MLM/NBLM or gay MLM/NBLM only)
GNC + trans men
MLM/NBLM flag by @incelfucker
MLM/NBLM flag by @DlNNERB0NE
Attraction and beauty
MLM of color
Community and Support
Trans, Non-binary, and GNC MLM
Peace and warmth
Love and romance
MLM/NBLM flag by @fnaftwt
Neopronoun and xenogender MLM/NBLM
Ace and aro MLM/NBLM
Love and romance
GNC, non-binary, and trans men
MLM/NBLM acespec flag by @nyaaanboy
romantic attraction towards men
asexuality and ace spectrum
trans, GNC, and non-binary MLM/NBLM
joy and healing
unity, peace, and harmony
MLM/NBLM flag by @DreamHuntsFear
Why have these flags in the first place?
There are various reasons why people would want to use alternate flags:
+ The rainbow flag has come to represent the entire LGBTQ+ community, and it does not exclusively represent gay men. As such, there are those who feel a disconnect from the flag as an expression of their identity and orientation.
+ Flags that explicitly include nonbinary, gender non-conforming, transgender, xenogenders, and neopronouns MLM/NBLM is something that those individuals may want in a flag, as it can be empowering, and helps them connect to -- and identify with -- the community. Especially for transmasc MLM/NBLM who have very little recorded history within the LGBTQ+ community, and are often invisible within and outside the community.
+ To make an effort to unite MLM/NBLM, and to be inclusive towards all those who have unique experiences to attraction, gender, and sexuality, and to show solidarity.
Which flag do I use?
That's entirely up to you. You can choose whichever flag you'd like to use, based on meanings, colors, usage within the community, so on and so forth. Whichever one you like the most, you may use it to express yourself and your identity!
+ No one is forcing you to switch over flags or labels. This is for those who want alternative flags and labels for themselves, for any of the variety of reasons stated above. If you identify more with more well known flags, that is great! Just be respectful of why others may want to use alternate flags and labels for themselves.
+ If you still find these flags "unnecessary," you may want to reevaluate yourself and where you stand -- or consider other viewpoints and experiences of other MLM/NBLM that you may not be aware of.
+ This is a space inclusive of all NBLM and MLM -- including trans, nonbinary, POC, neurodivergent, disabled, xenogenders, neopronouns, gender non-conforming, ace/aro, and other groups that may feel excluded or alienated from the community and from society. You are as valid as anyone else, do not let anyone tell you otherwise. There is more to MLM than what society perceives and you have every right to be represented and heard, despite all the misconceptions and invisibility we face.
+ Some flags will be labeled with the term "achillean" as the creator may have labeled it as such. Despite controversy, the term "achillean" is a valid expression of one's identity. Please read this informational site for more. However, there are those who may not want to use achillean for themselves, and that is completely valid.